The past couple of weeks, I wake each morning full of hope — hope that today will be the day the ADD fog will finally burn off and the sun will shine through.

The ADD cycle has an unpredictable rhythm. It’s like a mental seesaw, teetering back & forth between focus and distraction, but the rhythm is erratic, unpredictable, and exasperating.

Two days distracted, then a week of normal, non-ADD productivity. Four days spent running in circles, followed by three days of glorious hyper-focus & super productivity. A few weeks tuning out the rising noise, getting enough done each day, then weeks of fog I can’t find my way out of or rise above.

I fumble about, struggle, and chastise myself, but the fog remains.

So much to do, so much I should be doing. So many projects to start, so many projects languishing half done. But where to begin? That too is hiding in the fog.

I remind myself these fogs do burn off, and with the light will come a fresh burst of focus. In the mean time, I try to be kind to myself, nurture not reproach, give myself permission to take the day off, play with the boys, go to yoga, take a bike ride or a walk, bake, read a book, even take a nap — tomorrow will be brighter.

But as the foggy, unproductive days pile up behind me, and the lists continue to grow, my natural optimism takes a beating. I try, with mixed success, to ignore the guilt trip dialog running endlessly in my head.

I know the fog will eventually lift, but I sure would love to find a few new tricks to speed up the clearing, ’cause I’m tried of the fog, and the funk that comes with it.

For now, I’ll keep keeping it simple. 

Today I managed to write this post, though today has morphed into tomorrow as I typed, deleted, and typed some more. 

Tomorrow, next week’s menu plan & post, and a soon–to–be overdue 1/2 written guest post.

Right now, it’s time for a sleep pill. 

Hey, wait a minute, I just got something accomplished! Could this be a ray of sunshine breaking thru? For now, I think I’ll “fall back” and see what tomorrow brings.