The past couple of weeks, I wake each morning full of hope — hope that today will be the day the ADD fog will finally burn off and the sun will shine through.
The ADD cycle has an unpredictable rhythm. It’s like a mental seesaw, teetering back & forth between focus and distraction, but the rhythm is erratic, unpredictable, and exasperating.
Two days distracted, then a week of normal, non-ADD productivity. Four days spent running in circles, followed by three days of glorious hyper-focus & super productivity. A few weeks tuning out the rising noise, getting enough done each day, then weeks of fog I can’t find my way out of or rise above.
I fumble about, struggle, and chastise myself, but the fog remains.
So much to do, so much I should be doing. So many projects to start, so many projects languishing half done. But where to begin? That too is hiding in the fog.
I remind myself these fogs do burn off, and with the light will come a fresh burst of focus. In the mean time, I try to be kind to myself, nurture not reproach, give myself permission to take the day off, play with the boys, go to yoga, take a bike ride or a walk, bake, read a book, even take a nap — tomorrow will be brighter.
But as the foggy, unproductive days pile up behind me, and the lists continue to grow, my natural optimism takes a beating. I try, with mixed success, to ignore the guilt trip dialog running endlessly in my head.
I know the fog will eventually lift, but I sure would love to find a few new tricks to speed up the clearing, ’cause I’m tried of the fog, and the funk that comes with it.
For now, I’ll keep keeping it simple.
Today I managed to write this post, though today has morphed into tomorrow as I typed, deleted, and typed some more.
Tomorrow, next week’s menu plan & post, and a soon–to–be overdue 1/2 written guest post.
Right now, it’s time for a sleep pill.
Hey, wait a minute, I just got something accomplished! Could this be a ray of sunshine breaking thru? For now, I think I’ll “fall back” and see what tomorrow brings.
Amazing post, Lollie! Your words and your descriptions are absolutely incredible. You are an inspiration.
Your words are so very kind & encouraging. Thanks, friend.
The story of my life. I have those weeks when everything falls into place and gets done. I swear that I can do it this time and keep everything in order. And then the fog comes back. Lollie, I am so glad I found your blog, because it's like you're inside my head! 😀
Everybody needs a little extra support now & again, and us Moms on ADD have to remember we are not alone. We gotta stick together!